I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
