the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
