yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
