just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize