ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
