you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
