How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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