She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You can't motorboat a personality
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
