Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
