she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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