And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
