Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
