we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
