you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
