I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
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I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
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i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
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