I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
