the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it hurts more in the daytime
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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