please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
