you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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