I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize