Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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