I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My bed smells like the plague
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
