Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize