On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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