careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
