this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
