You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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