I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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