we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
