But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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