So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.