Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
