I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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