hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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