I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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