I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
