The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
