found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
