Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
