Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
