just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Buhtt sex?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
