mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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