Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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