He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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