I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize