okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
