she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
