if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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