I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
