nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
