yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
