it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
