i can't believe i had my finger in that
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
