Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
