Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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