Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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