so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
