Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
