we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
vagina is talking i cant
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
